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FROM THE BRONZE:
Amber Benson says: (Tue Feb 27 19:43:14 2001)
"Okay, I'm only gonna metion the movie thing once. That way I can clear up all weirdness, confusion, etc, etc. I am making a movie and am super excited about the whole thing. It's something I wrote and am gonna direct and act in. Am I insane??? Anyway, i felt weird asking for help (I'm footing the whole budget myself), but then I realized that I would help someone out, so... I guess, i just hate asking for anything in this world. I'd rather give ya know. But anyway, I'm not asking for donations. I'm selling pics from the movie set which will in turn help me recoup costs and pay for food, expendables, etc. That, or else I'm gonna go sell the old bod down at Hollywood andVine J/K Somehow I think I'd get laughed off the street corner."
WEEK ONE: MARCH 17th & 18th
Night: march 16th
"i've never been so nervous in my entire life. i swear to god i could imbibe a whole bottle of pepto bismol. luckily, i'm surrounded by a group of fantastic, professional, supportive people who just want to help me make my dream come true. hopefully i get some sleep tonight."
Day one: march 17th
"things are going *so* well. i feel high as a kite, like i could take on the world. what i thought was going to be funny doesn't always play; but i cast such amazing actors that they take the material to a whole new level: improvising, throwing out ideas, it's amazing. Christine Estabrook crawled into the couch during rehearsal and i thought our DP was going to pee on himself! everyone is up and excited. now if only the rest of the shoot goes so easily."
Day two: march 18th
"we erased some footage. some of our best stuff.
Emma caulfield was amazing, and we lost some of that footage. i cried, Patrice, the DP, cried; i yelled, and had to apologize. it was definitely a humbling experience. but, there's always a silver lining. we watched the dailies and decided to refilm the whole scene on a boat. here's hoping that it works. :) all the footage with James looks amazing; he's so photogenic it's not fair *grin* he makes me look like a troll! and he can act...he's the complete package."
Night: march 23rd
"worked all week at Buffy; actually, slept my way through all week at Buffy. thank god i work with fantastic people who are so supportive of what i'm doing. they cheer me on at every corner. although i watch what we shoot at Buffy, and have terror pains that what we're doing at my set won't look as good; shouldn't compare myself to the best show on tv. going to try and go to sleep, but the stomach's all a-fluttering so...goodnight. ps: We definitely have THE best Craft Service I'VE ever experienced!"
WEEK TWO: MARCH 24th & 25th
Night: march 25th
"lost Emma Caulfield due to scheduling and had a massive re-shoot, but other than that the weekend wasn't too bad. i'm dead tired, feel like i got hit by a mack truck, actually, i think i did.
Tressa is fantastic, and a wonderful kisser (don't mean to make Nick jealous!) ;) she really brought a lot to the part of Sara. the girl who replaced Emma, Lara, also stepped up to the occasion. she had, i think, one day to prepare and she came off spectacularly.
i'm learning a lot about film-making, more than anything i'm learning what NOT to do. and there's a heck of a lot not to do... but all in all, things are good and the footage looks great."
Night: march 30th
"tomorrow (saturday the 31st) is our buffy day; they're kind enough to let us do a little filming there. okay, a lot of filming...17 pages. oh my god, am i insane?? i think i am. let's hope that no-one breaks anything, and my brain stays in my head. can't wait to hear Andy Hallett sing, should be amazing. wish me luck :)"
WEEK THREE: MARCH 31st & APRIL 1st
Night: march 30th
"6 days down, 4 to go. i'm kind of excited that it's almost over, and kinda sad. you'd think all the hard work would make me want to run the other way but let me tell you, making a movie is amazing. we spent ALL DAY saturday at buffy. at first things went not so well, but as the day progressed we found our rhythm and things got easier.
i have now made out with a girl (the same girl ) three times in three weeks *grin* it's funny 'cause i thought it was gonna be uncomfortable, but tressa is so super cool that she made me feel 100% at ease. after watching this movie, people are going to think that i'm a total slut. all the making out i do is just ridiculous! but i must tell you now that i did not write this part with myself in mind. i was just as surprised as you will be at me playing this kind of wild child, but i must admit it's fun :)
we got some amazing shots- james looked *incredible*. we were all drooling. and andy hallett is one of the coolest people around. he worked all day for us- hours. and hours. and hours. and was such a trooper about the whole thing."
Night: april 1st
"on sunday, we had some issues with irate residents of the building we're filming in. i think we've got it solved but it really delayed filming, trying to deal with the situation.
let me just say that david fury is HYSTERICAL. one of the people in the building thought he was the real pizza guy that was supposed to deliver their pizza. hee hee hee.
now's the time to crunch the clock. we've got a lot of stuff to do and not much time to do it in. at this point, we can't afford to drop any more scenes. we only have a small amount of time and everything has to be done. got an editor. he's really nice and hopefully he won't get sick of all of us Chance people. we're a pretty rowdy bunch and we like to eat ;) we're pushing to get this together so that we can start entering some film festivals and get (hopefully) some recognition for our hard work. keep your toes, nose, and fingers crossed that things continue to go pretty damn well."
WEEK FOUR & FIVE: APRIL 7th & 8th, 14th & 15th
Night: april 14th
"got a lot of stuff shot last weekend but didn't get a chance to hook you all up with a journal entry 'cause it's been insane at Buffy. shot a lot of my stuff without anybody else 'cause i thought i was going to have to work at Buffy on Saturday and i was just going to pile it all on. luckily, i got the whole weekend for "chance". yay!
i'm learning a lot about human nature; it's very hard to keep everybody happy all the time. actually, it's impossible. so i'm settling for some of the people all of the time (kidding) ;) but all in all we've got a good group of people who are working their asses off here. we're surrounded by 99% love, it's true.
this weekend seems to be going peachy keen, who knew that stubble could be so painful? *grin* man, i've kissed more people in the making of this movie than well, i don't know... take my word for it, it's a lot of people!
I think that some of the best times we've had over the past five weekends have been when we've stayed up really late watching the dailies. it's like all the tension from the day evaporates in peals of hysterical giggling. :) i tell ya, my butt is heavily featured in this movie, it's SO embarrassing. and ALL our DP keeps saying is, "it's funny!" *grin*
now one thing i must speak of is the farting on set. we've had a number of noisy ones and a few s.b.d.s i think it's all the beans that jen and beth are fixing for the cast and crew ;) yummy! my dad was visiting and i think the baked beans did a number on his plumbing, man, he can clear a room! *grin*
for everybody out there who wants to do something completely and utterly insane, my advice is just do it 'cause it's the most fulfilling, satisfying thing to see your dreams take on reality and win. hee hee hee hee. getting cheesy on ya, huh? ;) but seriously, i'm SO blessed to be surrounded by all these amazing people who love me enough to stick it out even when the going gets yucky. and we couldn't make this movie without all the support of the people out there who gave their hard-earned cash and helped us out, and all the well-wishing and letters and emails really made me feel like what i was doing was feasible. so here's to one more day, and if the movie sucks, you can blame me ;)"
POSTSCRIPT
Night: april 17th
"it's all so surreal, i can't believe we're finally done. it just blows my mind that it's over; it's just like yesterday that we even decided to even begin to try to do this movie, and now it's done. crazy.
i feel like i've accomplished so much, it's like i can't believe i'm 24 years old and i've basically pulled an Orson Welles...i just hope that it all ties together well and that people don't leave after watching it thinking "damn, this girl's on drugs, it doesn't make sense!"
i just want to say thank you to everybody who helped make my dream a reality; couldn't have done it without you, you all know who you are. i feel weightless, like my feet are not on the ground. i guess it's just sleep deprivation or maybe it's just an amazing high from utter satisfaction. it was really rough, but i would do it again in a heartbeat. and patrice keeps saying we could do another movie in five days ;) i think that i would have to check myself into Betty Ford if that's the case *grin*
things i learned:
patience, collaboration, flexibility, compassion, that i must have at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and that when boys are kissing you they sometimes bite you *grin* and one more thing, most important, is to trust your gut. it's the only one you've got and it knows best.
the next journal entry shall be from the post-production trenches. i'm steeling myself for a good month of having to stare at my face (and ass ;) for at least 10 hours a day."
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